There is a mama duck nesting in our back yard and I love her in a way that might seem odd to some. She scouted around for a place to nest and she chose our yard! Being nature lovers, we felt a little like we won some kind of a lottery. We now have a front row seat as this sweet duck does the important work of bringing about the next generation of fuzzy, cute waddling puffballs. We named her, claimed her as “our” duck and have had so much fun watching her lay her eggs and carefully keep them warm on snowy (yes, it has snowed twice since she laid those eggs!), rainy and sunny days alike. She is one valiant and attentive mother!
…which leads me to some musings on motherhood (given the impending holiday that celebrates all things motherly)…
Who is your mama?
Who created a space for you, protected you and kept you warm and safe through all of the storms that life brings?
It’s a perspective that might seem a little strange, but I think we all have more than one mom. There was one who allowed you to grow in her womb, and what a blessing that is. If you’ve made space in your own body for a baby to grow, you know it’s not always a picnic. You are stretched-both literally and figuratively- in so many ways that it’s sometimes hard to recognize yourself afterward. Sharing your body with another human being can be the beautiful thing that has long been romanticized, but it can also be uncomfortable, terror-inducing and downright painful. If your biological mom did nothing more than this for you, she already did something really important: she ushered you into this world.
Maybe that same woman, the one who made space in her body and life so your life could take root, continued to be the one to care for and nurture you, or maybe that job was passed on to another woman.
Which women have made space for you? Which women have pointedly celebrated your achievements and God given talents? Which women have done the difficult task of pointing out some areas in which you need to grow? Which women have held you as you cried or told you, “Now it really is time to stop crying and look at all you have,”? Which women have challenged your thinking and encouraged your growth? Reminded you to take care of yourself and let you know that you are loved even when you’ve messed up big time?
Some mothers have never given birth.
It takes a village to raise a child. It’s a quote we’ve all heard. As mother’s day approaches I’ve realized that even though I have a wonderful mom all of my own- one who expected me, made space for me to grow, nurtured me and continues to love me through all of my ups and downs…through the snowy, rainy and sunny days alike, my life would not be the same without all of the mothering I’ve received from other women who have taken the time to call out the good in me along the way. Women who have imparted wisdom, reminded me to have grace for myself, made me tea as I tried to swallow tears in the wake of death, urged me to keep going when I might have given up, encouraged me to think more deeply and live life more fully- all of these women have joined together in a kind of sisterhood that has not only helped me treasure life more deeply, but also to know that in mothering my own children I am not alone.
My children were granted to me and I will mother them as well as I can, and to the fullest extent of my abilities, but I also take comfort in the fact that there are other women out there who will join with me in mothering them. Some of these women are my friends and have already stepped forward to call out the good in my own children that it’s hard for me to see on the most challenging days. Some of these women will rise up and take their places in my children’s lives as they grow.
So here I go, right back to the ducks. Isn’t it nice to know that we are part of a flock? One of my favorite Bible verses is the one in Psalms (91:4, to be exact):
You can go to him for protection. He will cover you like a bird spreading its wings over its babies. You can trust him to surround and protect you like a shield.
It’s a beautiful picture- the picture of a God who takes us under his wing and teaches us to take others under our own wings, and down and down it goes throughout the generations. When I think about it that way, it kind of puts a whole new spin on this parenting gig. It kind of puts a new spin on Mother’s Day too.
Who’s your mama?
My middle name is Joy. 